If I Come Tonight
by ddgorgeous
Summary: Morgan and Garcia have finally gotten it right. When a ghost from his past brings tragedy to his life will their love be strong enough to survive?
1. Chapter 1

Morgan and Garcia had spent the weekend together and it had changed their lives. They had danced around their feelings for the last nine and a half years; hiding behind sexually tinged flirting, hugs and chaste kisses, never speaking the real truth both hoping the other would get the hint.

It took a night of drinking after a particularly harrowing case to make one of them step out on the proverbial limb and spill his heart. Morgan had spent his entire adult life in and out of short-lived relationships and had created a reputation of being a player. While his reputation did well at feeding his manly ego it didn't satisfy his true wants and desires of wanting someone to love, and settle down with and have his own family.

Garcia had loved him from the moment he'd mistakenly called her, "Gomez." She turned to meet his gaze and immediately saw past all that he pretended to be. She saw a man that was brave, loyal, strong but she also saw the haunted man filled with pain and a troubled past. They hit it off instantly and became friends that would sacrifice anything even their lives for each other.

Now, with their feelings out in the open a new chapter was beginning for them. He'd been the first to speak the words, the first to make her stop and understand that his, 'I love you' wasn't as a friend. He made her listen without her mind being controlled and blocked by fear to hear what was coming from his heart. He had watched her in and out of relationships over the last several years and each time he saw her move further from him and closer to making a life-long commitment to someone else.

The night had begun like any other Friday nights that they'd spent together watching movies, eating pizza, and snacking on red vines and popcorn. He'd left the BAU before Garcia rushing to the store to stock up on supplies. He grabbed a few bottles of her favorite wine and his favorite beer. He was nervous and distracted all day because tonight was the night that he was going to settle things between them. When it was all said he would either be the man in her life or nothing because once he spoke the words out loud and confirmed that she understood what he was saying he would no longer be able to settle for a friendship role in her life any longer. To say everything was at stake would be an understatement.

She dreamt of hearing the words, his declaration of love for so long, years that felt like an eternity. Of course he said he loved her countless times, she even felt that there was more behind their flirting but she didn't allow herself to dwell on the possibilities. It wasn't that she felt she wasn't good enough, she was more than confident in the woman that she was, she knew she was unique in her look but unique didn't mean undesirable, or unattractive. Penelope was aware that she was beautiful even if others, men, like her best friend couldn't see past her curves, her bright over the top wardrobe, glasses and intellect. Penelope was not afraid of his rejection as much as she was afraid of what would happen if she allowed herself to go down that road with him. She'd watched the women come and go from his life like an assembly line all of them looked like carbon copies of each other; she was the complete opposite of them in every way. So, when he professed his love, under the influence of alcohol, lots of alcohol, it frightened her.

That was Friday, today was Sunday; she'd promised to spend the weekend and give him the time to convince her that his feelings were real and not birthed from a drunken rant. Sunday morning was now here and he'd already convinced her by Saturday afternoon that he loved her, sober, drunk, scared and any state in between. She turned to face him as he lay next to her asleep. He seemed so at peace and she felt as if she'd awaken smack dab in the middle of a fairytale. They'd made plans for the day but she was perfectly satisfied to stay in bed all day replaying last night over and over again. She wanted to reach over and touch his caramel colored back to trace the scratches that was evidence of their first time, but she didn't want to wake him. He was exhausted from the week and their job had made it hard for him to sleep. So, she simply watched him breathing she listened to his light snoring and smiled as she remembered how he made her feel only hours before.

**Chicago – **

She was tired of grieving; tired of believing that the man responsible for her father's death would never pay for his sins. Her entire family's lives had suffered and her father had spent over seven years in jail before he was killed because of the lies of another.

Tara idolized her father and he spoiled her rotten. He worked hard, volunteering at the youth center and working with the young boys who would have otherwise fallen into the hands of the many gangs that ruled the streets of Chicago. Then there was the one who he had given special attention; his favorite. She assumed he saw potential in the young boy who'd lost his father; shot before his young eyes. She remembered feeling jealous when her father would take that same boy to their cabin camping and fishing. She'd cry for hours in her room; because those weekend trips spent with a special boy from the youth center was one of the few things her father had ever refused her.

The call from the warden informing her of her father's death was her breaking point. Today was the anniversary of his death and as she packed her bags and rechecked her flight information, she was more determined than ever to make him pay. Her mother had often told her, _"What goes around, comes around,"_ she realized now what that meant. It was time that Derek Morgan paid for what he did.

Tara grabbed her luggage and coat and took one final look around her small apartment. She had a lot to do and she wasn't sure how long it would take her to handle her business. She missed her father and it broke her heart that his hard work and legacy was now tainted. As his only child she felt it her duty to make him pay for everything, the lies, her father's ruined reputation and his death.

As she headed toward the airport she took a small detour; there was one small matter to take care of before heading to Quantico. Fifteen minutes later she pulled into the driveway of the familiar two-story on the corner of Elm and cut the engine. Today would be the beginning of her plan to avenge her father's death. It was amazing how people never realized the effect of their actions until they experienced it for themselves.

Tara calmly got out of her car and closed the door. Glancing around she saw that the streets were quiet and traffic was light; not that it mattered she was here to do what she had to do. So, she climbed the three steps to the front door and rang the doorbell. Her heart sped up as she heard footsteps and then the door opened.

"Hello, can I help you?" The older woman asked.

Tara tightened her grip on the small gun in her pocket.

"Yes. Mrs. Morgan?"

"Yes, I'm Mrs. Morgan."

"We've never met but I know your son."

"Derek?"

"Yes."

It was then that the woman saw the gun in the younger woman's hand. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"My name is Tara Buford. This is for my father."

The loud blast broke the silence of the mid afternoon quiet. Tara watched the woman's body fall lifeless to the ground. She turned and calmly walked back to her car and got in. Somehow she thought she'd get more satisfaction from killing his mother but she needed more.

Taking a deep breath she started her car and headed toward the airport. Tara Buford was just getting started and before she was finished he'd wished that he'd never met Carl Buford.

**Home of Derek Morgan –**

He hadn't slept that good in months, even years. His demons from his past mixed with horrors of his job kept him awake at night and when he did sleep he found himself haunted by horrific nightmares. But last night he felt lighter, freer and unafraid to sleep. He opened his eyes to the most amazing view, her smile. She was looking at him with her beautiful brown eyes and he felt happier than he'd ever felt in his life. She was here with him and she knew how he felt that he loved her with every ounce of his being. Somewhere he'd found the courage to tell her and she didn't reject him, she didn't laugh she just told him that she loved him back.

"Good morning, Baby Girl."

"I'll show you a good morning, Hot Stuff."

"Well, last night was pretty damn good! I'll take a repeat of that."

She leaned in and he wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer. Just as she was about to kiss him his cell phone rang. He groaned and kissed her quickly before rolling over to grab his phone.

He noticed the familiar name and number on the display and made a mental note to strangle his oldest sister when he saw her again.

"Hey Sarah, remind me to talk to you about your timing."

There was a pause on the other end.

"Sarah? What's wrong?"

"Derek…it's mom…"


	2. Chapter 2

He sat up on the side of the bed stunned. He heard her words on the other side of the phone but his mind wouldn't accept what she was saying. His entire body suddenly went numb even has his mind willed him to move to get up and handle the pressing family business at hand.

Then Penelope's phone rang but she ignored it as she watched Derek. Something was wrong she could tell by his body language and the fact that he'd yet to speak another word.

"Derek?" She whispered fearfully.

"I'm on my way." He uttered.

He ended the call setting the phone on the nightstand and turning with tears and shock on his face. Her phone rang again alerting her again to a new text. In the back of her mind she expected a phone call this time but her focus remained on him.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

She sat up moving close to him placing a reluctant hand on his back. He didn't respond even to her touch.

"Derek, talk to me."

"My mother…."

"Please, baby…what happened?"

"She's dead."

Penelope instinctively grabbed him and pulled him to her body tightly holding him as he gave into her embrace; his body shaking as the flood overcame him. She had no words as her tears came too. She'd never seen him cry, never seen tears but now he melted under the weight of them. He wrapped his strong arms around her pulling her close and she without protest became his lifeline. The still quiet of the room echoed the deep guttural sounds of his pain, each moan and wail bouncing off the walls. As she held him she realized that no words existed and at this very moment words were not what he needed so she remained silent, closed her eyes and gave him the only thing he needed…her quiet non-judging strength.

Tara stood in baggage claims waiting for her luggage to appear on the large steel carousel. She felt invigorated her only regret was not being there to see the look on his face when he got the news of his mother's demise. She could only imagine the grief and then the anger to learn that someone had come to her home and rang the doorbell and shot her dead.

Tara grabbed her plaid Burberry knock off and headed to the rental car counter. It felt good to smile again, to be in control. It had been a while since she felt in control. Derek Morgan was going to pay for what he'd done…first his dear mother and she was just getting started.

"Hotch has been trying to reach you! We've got a case!" JJ started.

"JJ…"

"Have you talked to Morgan? He can't reach him either!"

"JJ…"

"He is one pissed off man!"

"JJ! Stop!"

"Garcia, what's wrong?"

"Somebody's killed Derek's mother."

"Oh my god, Garcia! What happened?"

"JJ, I don't know! I've got to go, I need to make arrangements for him to get home."

"Okay, okay, I'll let Hotch know!"

"Thanks, Jayje."

"And Garcia, please tell Derek that if there's anything we can do…"

"I'll tell him…thanks."

The next hour passed like vapor as Morgan moved around packing and then staring out of the living room window while Garcia searched for flights to Chicago. He was so quiet he'd barely uttered a word since telling her that his mother was dead.

"I'm going with you."

"No you're not."

"Yes! I'm not letting you go through this alone!"

Morgan turned from the window and joined her on the couch as her gaze was fixed on the computer screen unable to bear seeing the sadness in his face.

"Baby Girl, I love you and I know you want to go but I can't let you."

"Why not? She asked hurt in her voice.

"Because, the team has a new case and they need you."

"They'll just have to get another technical analyst."

"They need _you_."

"_You_ need me!"

"Yes, I need you but I need you to stay and help the team. I'll be fine!"

"Derek, Baby, you are so far from being fine! I have vacation time, and I'll just call Hotch and tell…"

Derek kissed her on the lips stopping her rambling. He would give anything to have her on this trip with him but he knew it was important for her to stay. He saw the hurt in her eyes and he knew she'd see his decision as rejection, which was furthest from the truth.

"Penelope, listen to me. The team doesn't have anyone else to call; the other techs are already working with other teams. Besides, no one knows about us yet…we'll have a lot of questions to answer with the frat rules and …"

"I don't give a damn about the frat rules, Derek!"

"But I do! I know you want to be there for me and I love you for it. Besides, once I get there I'm going to find the person who killed my mother and I'll need you here working your magic for me, okay?"

Penelope knew not to fight him when his mind was made up. As much as she hated giving in and not getting her way, she had to admit he was right. Besides, she would be able to help him by doing what she did best. So, finding a flight for him she confirmed the arrangements and took a moment to wrap her arms around his neck resting her head on his shoulder searching her heart and mind for the words to tell him how sorry she was for him and still, there were no words to be found.

If there was one thing Tara had on her side, it was time. She'd grabbed her bag and then the keys to her rental and headed toward the next step of her plan. Twenty minutes later she pulled up across from the well kept craftsman home on the corner of the neat tree lined street and killed the engine. She noticed a black truck in the driveway and she smugly wondered if he'd gotten the news yet. It was cold and as she blew into her palms rubbing them together to get warm she saw him exit. Noticing the back suitcase in his hand answered her question. How sweet, she thought as she watched the blonde holding onto him for dear life then kissing him lightly on the lips as he opened the passenger door for her.

Derek pulled out of his driveway and away from his home too distraught to notice the woman in the small sedan parked across the street. Normally, he would have spotted her even before he stepped out of his door, but today his mind was elsewhere.

After the truck disappeared, Tara started her engine and headed toward her hotel. Suddenly she was famished and she had a craving for a nice juicy steak. Perhaps it was too early for a victory dinner but today had been a good day and she was confident that tomorrow would be even better once she introduced herself to the lovely and unsuspecting Penelope Garcia.


	3. Chapter 3

Sarah and Desiree met their brother at the airport. He looked weary and sad even though it was obvious that he was trying his hardest to hide it. He'd become good at hiding his feelings from them even as a child he kept his feelings and his troubles from them. He'd assumed the roll as man of the house at the young age of ten; the murder of their father and his abuse at the hands of Carl Buford taught him to be silent against pain, a lesson he'd perfected.

He pulled his sisters in his arms and the three of them stood in each other's embraces for several minutes. He heard the sobs of the two women whom he tried so hard to protect and shield from the evils of the world. He remembered as a boy making a promise to take care of his sisters and his mother when he grew up. Now as he held onto his grieving sisters he had to admit that he'd failed.

Hand in hand the siblings walked toward the exit. He needed to find out the facts surrounding his mother's death and he wouldn't rest until he hunted down her murderer.

"How are you two holding up?"

"I can't believe this is happening?" Sarah began.

"Who would want to kill ma?" Desiree asked.

"I don't know but I promise you both I won't rest until I find out. In fact, I need you to drop me off at the police station."

"Derek…"

"What Dez? I know you're not about to tell me to stay out of this!"

"No, that's not what I was going to say."

"Then what?"

"Gordinski is in charge of the case."

"Gordinski? Hell no!"

"Calm down. He's been doing everything he can to make sure the killer is found."

"Of all the detectives on the force, Gordinski?"

"Come on, Derek…and besides he's Captain Gordinski now."

"Sarah, I know he's a captain now but I don't care if he's the commissioner, I don't want him on this case!"

"Let's just give him a chance, please!" Sara pleaded.

**Quantico, VA – Evening –**

Garcia wasn't sure when she'd hear from Morgan; he promised to call when his plane landed but she knew that he'd arrived in Chicago at least two hours ago. He was a man of his word but he had also just lost his mother to a violent senseless attack. She'd give anything to be with him but she understood his reasoning for her staying behind. She had to keep busy until he returned the thought of him grieving made her heart break.

Garcia had decided to stay at Derek's while he was away. She moved methodically around the house picking up clothes from the floor, evidence of last night's activities, which had started in the living room and ended in the bedroom. She smiled as she picked up his trousers that lied next to the couch and neatly folded them draping them across her arm. She chuckled and paused for a moment as she pulled her red lace bra from the cushions of the leather-tufted sofa. As she moved from the living room, the trail of clothes led her to the bedroom and she sat down holding the discarded clothing tightly to her chest as the tears fell freely down her face. No one had made her feel like he had last night; she felt so lucky to have her best friend as her lover. She needed to hear from him his voice would tell her how he was, how he really was. She knew him and how he would try to evade her questions and try to convince her that he was okay.

Tara sat across the street watching the silhouette of a woman moving across the window. She wondered how long the two of them had been together and how he would react when he returned from Chicago to find that she too was gone. It would be so easy to take her life; she'd never see it coming until it was too late. She'd dreamt of revenge for years and when her father was killed she knew what had to be done. Derek Morgan was going to pay for each lie he'd ever told on her father. He would lose everything that meant anything to him then she'd walk up to him, look him in the eye and kill him too.

**Chicago – Coroner's Office**

Derek had sent his sisters home. He had business to take care of and he wasn't ready to see the place where his mother had died just yet. He felt numb as he slowly pulled the white sheet from his mother's face. His mind wouldn't accept that he was staring down at the woman who'd given birth to him, who'd loved and cared for him and who'd do anything in the world for him. Her laugh rang in his ears as he gently touched her cold ashen skin. There was so much still left for her to do; so much for him to say but now time had stopped for the woman who'd never hurt a soul, had no enemies, worked hard and minded her own business.

He'd forgotten that Captain Gordinski was in the room; standing in the far corner hidden in the shadows of the dimly lit room. It had been difficult to take the elevator ride down to the basement and the long walk down the narrow hall to the Coroner's office with the man who'd made his teen years a living hell. Derek felt so alone during those times after watching his father being gunned down before his eyes. Then being literally forced into the hands of Carl Buford and enduring years of molestation with no one to tell who would believe him and protect him. Even after the older Gordinski had apologized, Derek still found it hard to be in the man's presence. But now, here he was at the worst point in his life, it seemed that Gordinski was perhaps the only one that could help him now.

"Cause of death was a single gunshot to the chest." The Coroner said.

Her words broke his concentration and yanked him back to the present. Dr. Kayla Winslow had only been the coroner for a few years but she'd heard about him. She watched as he grieved for his mother. She learned to be unaffected, detached but this one was hard and she wished that the next body she examined would be that of the killer's.

"Did she…did she…"

"Suffer? No. Death was instantaneous."

His focus never waivered as the tears streamed down the proud man's face and his body stiffened against the reality before him.

"I'm so sorry, Ma…I was supposed to take care of you…" He whispered.

Kayla quietly backed away standing next to Gordinski allowing Morgan to grieve in private. Then after several minutes they watched as he leaned down and kissed his mother's forehead and rush from the room.

It was hard to breathe and he felt light-headed as he stopped halfway down the hall and leaned his body against the wall closing his eyes. He felt his body shaking he didn't want to lose control but that battle was already lost as he clinched his fist tightly to his side.

Gordinski didn't know what to say he didn't have the words for a man he'd wronged in the past and had tried to make amends for. All of his attempts had been rejected and he didn't blame him. He drew closer slowly approaching Derek. He was the last person he'd want to see him break down but he continued coming closer until he reached his side. Silently he fought back his own tears placing a hand of comfort on his shoulder. He felt Derek stiffen out of reflex then relaxing under his touch. The older man was prepared for anything he expected to be met with anger but instead Derek turned his head and stared teary-eyed at him.

"No matter what it takes Derek, we're going to find the person who killed your mother. "

Unable to speak Derek merely nodded his understanding then turning his head and closing his eyes again.

"You have my word. I won't rest until the man who did this is behind bars!"


	4. Chapter 4

It was hard to breathe, to see and to think nothing made sense; his mother lying cold on a coroner's table and then Gordinski standing next to him promising justice. He wanted to scream to cry but he couldn't not now even as his knees began to weaken he found the strength to rush from the building into the night's air.

It was a small miracle that he was able to reach the car before collapsing fumbling for his phone he yanked it off of his belt and dialed her number. He needed to hear her voice of sanity and comfort or he'd surely lose his mind.

"Hey…"

The silence and labored breathing on the other end told her that he wasn't doing well.

"Baby Girl…"

…and the tears; she heard his tears and fighting back her own she searched for the words to say.

"I'm here…Derek, I'm here for you."

"I know you are."

"I don't know what to say, Handsome to make this better, except that I love you and if you need me there, I'm on the next plane."

"Why did this happen? She was such a good person and someone just walked up to her door and..."

"We'll catch them, you know that right? You'll catch them and all of us are here to help make sure that happens."

"Gordinski is on the case."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah of all the people…"

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't like it but I'm going to stay on his ass to make sure he does right by my mother!"

She knew better than anyone how Morgan felt about the man who'd used his badge to make his life a living hell as a boy. Suddenly it was one of those moments where she was at a loss for words.

"I know you will. Derek?"

"You and your sisters are going to get through this, okay?"

"I'm not so sure, Baby Girl."

**Morgan Home – Later…**

Morgan carefully removed the yellow tape from the front door and pulled the key to his mother's house from his pocket. The crime scene investigators had already finished their work but until the case was closed the house was still off limits to anyone not related to the investigation. He had dreaded coming and as he looked at the dried blood stain at the front door his stomach wretched.

He stepped across the threshold careful not to touch the stain; he couldn't imagine what his mother thought in those final seconds of her life as she looked her killer in the eye. Slowly he made his way through the small front room desperately searching for something that only he would know was significant, something that would lead him to her killer. The house was immaculate everything in its place; pictures of his and his sister's childhood, his high school football trophies that she still displayed proudly for all to see. His sisters' cheerleading and spelling bee ribbons adorned the mantle of the fireplace.

**CPD Headquarters – **

Gordinski had gone over all the evidence a dozen times and still he had no leads. No one had come forward as a witness and there was very little forensic evidence at the scene. He felt pressure to solve the case not from any outside influence but by his inner need to make amends for his past mistakes. He'd used his position as a police officer to make life for young Derek Morgan difficult. At the time he felt justified in his actions certain that the young boy was a troublemaker. He'd been so eager to prove himself and move up in the ranks of the police force. He had his mind made up about the people whom he was supposed to be serving and he missed seeing the real picture.

Young Derek Morgan had witnessed his father being gunned down before his eyes; too much for a ten-year old to have to endure. That wasn't taken into Gordinski's consideration when the boy began getting into trouble. Fran Morgan thought it a good idea to send her precocious pre-teen to the community youth center in hopes of keeping him off the streets and out of trouble. Instead it was the beginning of the worse years of Morgan's life; years that still haunted him as an adult.

**Home of Fran Morgan – **

Morgan noticed a large envelope in the center of the kitchen table. He noticed that it was addressed to him in his mother's handwriting still unsealed. He took a seat and dumped the contents out and several envelopes fell out that were also addressed to him. It looked like his mother was sending mail to him that had been sent to his childhood address. He thought it was odd that the half dozen or so letters were all handwritten in the same unfamiliar hand so he picked one up and opened it.

**Milly's Coffee Shop – Quantico, VA. – Monday Morning – **

As usual Milly's was crowded with commuters in line to get their morning jolt of caffeine. Garcia saw a few familiar faces and they each nodded as they passed. The tables were all taken with customers reading newspapers, books or taking advantage of the free Wifi.

Just as Garcia stepped outside she was nearly run down by a woman rushing through the door. The young woman looked up apologetically after bumping into her nearly knocking her cup from her hand.

"Oh, I am so sorry!" The woman muttered.

"No problem." Garcia replied.

"None spilled on that gorgeous blouse did it?"

"No not a drop, thanks."

It was then that Garcia noticed the woman's red eyes and the remnant of tears on her face.

"Excuse me, but are you okay?"

The woman looked into her concerned eyes and then looked away as her hands rummaged through her pockets as she sniffled back her tears.

"Y-Yes, I'm fine."

Garcia handed her one of her napkins and watched as the woman passed her into the shop. Without hesitation, ever the momma bear, Garcia followed the distraught woman inside.

"Excuse me…again…I don't mean to get in your business, but you look like you could use a friend."

The woman managed a weak smile as she shook her head affirmatively. She couldn't help noticing the innocence in the eyes of the blonde woman. Not many people would take the time to show concern and kindness to a complete stranger but she could tell that this was probably the norm and came with ease for this woman.

"It's just been a rough time for me lately…but I'm sure you have much more important things to do than to listen to a stranger's sob story."

Garcia looked at her watch.

"I don't have to be a work for another thirty minutes and I work just a few steps away, I can't think of anything better to do than help a new friend."

Penelope extended her hand to the woman.

"My name is Penelope. What's yours?"

"Tara. My name is Tara. Please to meet you, Penelope."

Tara Buford shook the woman's hand and thought how easy it had been to enter her life. She radiated light and love and no doubt she meant a great deal to a lot of people. It was no wonder he loved her so much and if it wasn't for the fact that she was going to kill her, the two of them could be close friends, yes, close friends indeed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chicago PD – Morning – **

Morgan didn't trust Gordinski; chalk it up to their past but he couldn't let go of his childhood run-ins and his arrest eight years ago for murder. So he waited until morning to bring the letters in. He'd opened each letter all of them written by the same person and that person was sending him a message. He couldn't help but think that had his mother sent the letters to him he'd been able to prevent her death. According to the postmarks, the letters had been received at least a week before his mother's murder.

"How long have you had these, Derek?"

"I found them last night when I went to my mother's."

"And you're just now showing me?"

Gordinski was fuming he'd been more than patient with Derek, now he was hindering his investigation.

"Listen Derek, I know you're still holding the past against me but I can't solve this case if you're in the way."

"I hope you're not accusing me of something, Gordinski?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything, Derek! I'm doing everything I can to find your mother's killer but you've got to let me do my job!"

"Look at these letters; whoever sent them knows me and killed my mother because of me!"

"Who would do that, Derek?"

"Come on, man you know what I do for a living; it could be dozens of people!"

Morgan looked at the letter again; all the letters had the same message:

_"We never understand the pain of others until we feel it for ourselves."_

**BAU Headquarters – **

Garcia had invited Tara to her grief support group meeting tonight. She needed the distraction and if she couldn't be in Chicago to help Derek then helping someone else would keep her mind occupied. The young woman seemed so distraught and it troubled Garcia to see someone in so much pain. She was glad that the two had bumped into each other the last time she'd bumped into someone at that café had ended in her getting shot; Tara wasn't Baylor, she was just a young woman who seemed so lost and in need of a friend. Penelope wanted to be that friend. Garcia had a lot of work to do before focusing on helping Tara, the team had been asked to consult on a local case so she stood and headed to the conference room.

They looked at her with a million questions roaming in their eyes; she didn't know where to begin or if she should. They were all worried about Morgan and his sisters because they all knew how close they were to their mother. Their natural instinct was to fly to Chicago and get involved but they had not been invited and Cruz had already given them a stern warning to stay put and work the cases they were assigned. Still, it didn't ease the heaviness in their hearts for their friend.

Garcia was the last to enter the room and she quickly took her seat next to JJ who immediately took her hand under the table squeezing it tightly.

"Before we get started, I know our hearts and minds are with Morgan but we've been ordered not to get involved in this case." Hotch began.

"How can we not get involved, Aaron?" Rossi asked.

"We'll do what we can from here without getting in the way of the locals."

"When do we start?" Reid asked.

"We'll need to be discrete. If anyone finds out that we're involved we'll all be looking for jobs."

"Thanks, guys." Garcia said softly.

"Now let's get to work Baltimore PD has asked for our help on a case."

**Chicago – Valentine Funeral Home – Afternoon – **

Morgan pulled into the parking lot and killed the engine. He was scheduled to meet his sisters there to make plans for their mother's services. He felt as if he were operating on autopilot and every motion seemed to be happening without thought. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle any of this; his sisters were devastated and he felt responsible for them still. He wanted to be that strong male helping them to cope but he was clueless on how he was supposed to do that. He'd been rough on Gordinski and he didn't hold back on how he felt about the man being in charge of his mother's case. He wanted to move on and forget about the past but something inside made him hold on for dear life to his childhood and the older man's role in the tragedies of those times. He couldn't help but think that life was playing some sort of cruel joke on him and he didn't know why.

Seeing his sisters, Morgan knew that they weren't doing much better than he was. It was obvious that they'd spent the night and morning crying. The three sat in the small stuffy office of the funeral director as he opened several brochures spreading them across his desk. Everything was a blur and nothing made sense.

The services were set for Friday; Fran Morgan had already written out her wishes to make things easier for her family when the time came. It was just like her never wanting them to fret over her and so as the three siblings sat solemnly around the aged wooden desk of Mr. Mark Valentine, Sarah unfolded the notepaper that she had found amongst her mother's papers and handed it across the desk.

Captain Gordinski had found his way down to the morgue his heart was heavy and the pit of his stomach churned as he looked down on the body of Fran Morgan. He wanted so much to rewind the past several days; in fact, if he had his way there were a lot of things he would have done differently. One was to not rush to judgment when it came to a young Derek Morgan and so many other boys like him. More than that he would not have cancelled his breakfast plans the day before if he had not been called away on an work emergency, Fran would still be alive.

No one knew and they'd both decided to keep their relationship a secret. Stan had run into her six months ago in the hospital where she worked and surprisingly the woman had been quite cordial. As he was checking on one of his officers, he found himself staring at the attractive woman and as she looked up from her charts she caught the man and she chuckled as his face grew a bright red. Immediately, she came over and chided him about it not being gentlemanly to stare if he wasn't going to ask a woman out for a cup of coffee. He laughed at her confident air he was speechless and relieved that she hadn't use the opportunity to remind him of his past sins.

Coffee turned into dinner and dinner turned into six months of quiet evenings, long walks on the riverfront and so much more. He loved the red headed woman who'd stolen his heart and breath in that first meeting and she held onto it gently and lovingly until someone brutally took her life. He had to find her killer not just for Derek and his sisters but he had to do it for himself. His heart was broken as he watched his future lying still and cold on the table; he didn't know how to say goodbye...saying goodbye to her was like saying goodbye to his own life. It was hard to breathe as he stood alone in the quiet room crying tears of sorrow and pain.

**Quantico, VA. – Community Center – Evening –**

She could hear the pain in his voice even though he was trying hard to hide it. He and the girls had made final arrangements for his mother and it had taken a lot out of him. She so wanted to be there with him. She kept him on the phone as she got out of the car and headed toward the entrance of the building.

"I'm here for you Derek, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know you are."

"The team and I will be there on Friday."

"Garcia…"

"Don't you even try to talk us out of it, Derek Morgan!"

He exhaled it was taking all he had to keep it together. He was happy they were coming; he needed them… he needed her.

"What time does your group start?"

Garcia glanced at her watch as she walked through the door.

"In about fifteen minutes."

"I miss you, Baby Girl."

"I miss you too, Handsome. Remember what I told you…first plane smoking."

"I remember…"

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Garcia?"

"Yes?"

"Tell the team I said, thanks."

"I will. Now, go try and get some rest."

Tara had arrived twenty minutes ago and had watched Penelope pull up in her orange caddy. Her new _"friend" _was on the phone; no doubt it was Derek Morgan that she was talking to. Her blood boiled at the mere thought of the man. She wondered who would grieve for him when he was gone? Tara had vowed to teach him how it felt to truly grieve for justice and for lost loved ones. She'd known both and before she killed him he would know too.

Tara checked her makeup in the rearview mirror then smiled as she brushed her fingers through her hair. Then, she opened the door, got out of the car and crossed the street.


	6. Chapter 6

Penelope was excited about the new faces in the circle tonight especially Tara. It suddenly hit her that she didn't know the young woman's last name. It didn't matter she supposed, she'd find out later; she had planned to invite Tara for coffee since she wasn't in a hurry to go home and sit in Derek's big house waiting for his call.

Most of the regulars had shared their stories, their progress and setbacks. Penelope had begun introducing the new members some of whom declined the opportunity to speak.

"Everyone, welcome another new member, Tara."

"Hello, Tara." The group sung in unison.

Tara smiled and glanced at Penelope who nodded and smiled.

"I met Penelope today at the coffee shop…I was a wreck!"

Chuckles were heard around the group of about fifteen men and women as Tara began her story.

"Today is the anniversary of my father's death. He was falsely accused of crimes that he didn't commit and before we could prove his innocence he was killed in prison."

Penelope watched the pain and agony that showed so clearly on Tara's face; the woman whom she'd met only hours ago made no attempt to hide her pain or stop the tears that flowed freely down her face.

"How are you handling everything?" Penelope asked.

"Not very well."

"I know it sounds cliché but time really does heal all wounds."

Penelope waited for Tara to continue.

"I want revenge! I want the person responsible for all of this to feel what it's like to lose someone they love!"

"We know you don't mean that, Tara."

"It's funny, we never understand the pain of others until we feel it ourselves."

**Home of Stan Gordinski – Evening**

Stan sat quietly on the side of his bed holding a half empty bottle of beer and staring blankly into space. It had been a long day and after twelve hours straight he felt the full weight of his body and his years. He'd been thinking a lot lately about retiring from the force. He'd worked almost thirty years to get to where he was and now he wondered if it all had been worth it. He had nothing to show for the years except a short-lived marriage, high blood pressure and an empty house.

Fran had changed him; she made him feel warm and soft and he looked forward to smiling when he was around her. He was quite aware of the fact that he absolutely did not deserve the woman with the big forgiving heart. He wondered had they met sooner if things would have ended differently. Whenever he wanted to talk about the past, her son and his mistakes she would shush him with her index finger placed lightly on his lips. Then she would look deep into his eyes with her bright green twinkle and smile. Even now as he sat and finding it hard to inhale, he missed her and he wondered how he would be able to go on without her.

Stan set the bottle on the small nightstand and opened the drawer pulling out a small velvet box. Then the tears that he'd managed to hold in their place all day, began to flow freely down his face as he slowly opened the dainty box in his hand. The bright glow of a ring that had made a dent in his life savings mocked him as he stared wide-eyed and he thought of what could have been with the woman who'd pulled him from the brink of despair and convinced him that he was worth loving, and worth forgiving and if she'd been willing to take the leap, he'd planned to spend the rest of his life with her.

**Home of Fran Morgan – **

Morgan couldn't keep still and he couldn't sleep so he decided to begin packing up his mother's things. He knew his sisters would be upset that he'd started without them but the memories of his childhood bombarded him non-stop and he needed a diversion. He smiled as he thumbed through his mother's extensive collection of old jazz albums. He had teased her continuously since moving to Quantico about the fact that she still insisted on buying vinyl even if it meant having to drive to the next county to a small tucked away record store the only place that sold them. He'd even given her more CD players than he cared to remember. He even opened an account on her computer so that she could download music but it didn't matter she loved spending quiet moments after working long hours listening to her favorites by Nancy Wilson, Ella Fitzgerald and John Coltrane.

The music seemed to lull him to another place and a time that now seemed so far away. There had been some happy times in this house; his father had seemed so big to him as a boy and he'd taught him how to catch and wrestle and he taught him that it was important to be strong and to watch out for his sisters. During times when his father was unaware that he was being watched, he unknowingly taught him how to love a woman. Morgan remembered the times when the house was quiet and he and his sisters were supposed to be sound asleep; he'd hear soft music coming from this same record player and he'd sneak down the stairs careful to miss the places on the wooden stairs that would creak and give him away. Then he'd peer around the wall to see his mother and father dancing-his father holding his mother as if she were a precious jewel swaying side to side with his eyes closed and a rare smile across his face. His mother, at least four inches shorter than his father, yet, they fit just right in each other's arms. He'd lost them both now, violence had eerily reunited them and it seemed so strange but he imagined his mother smiling and once again dancing in the arms of the man who was her first love and if he could find any comfort in all that had happened it was that now his mother and father were together again.

**Community Center – Quantico, VA – **

Tara watched Penelope from the back of the room. She promised her that she'd join her for coffee before returning to her hotel. She had a way with people; she genuinely loved helping and mothering them and for a moment she envied the woman whose life she would soon end. Tara had felt some relief in telling her story in front of the room of strangers who'd she never see again. They'd all been through tragedy and sorrow and each of them were searching for a way to make sense of it all and to survive clinging to the hope that time really did heal all wounds. The relief that she felt wasn't enough to change her mind and the sweetness of Penelope Garcia wouldn't be enough to save her from the same fate that had befallen Fran Morgan.

In a way, she was sorry but she'd promised her father that she'd make him pay for all the lies that had taken him away from her. Today had been unbearably long, the past year had been one filled with questions and it had squashed her last hope of proving that what had been said about her father was utterly untrue.

She watched as the last group member waved goodbye and as Penelope cheerfully walked toward her, she managed a strained smile. Tara would have loved to have a friend like Penelope she was a rare find indeed but it was too late now.

Penelope wrapped her arm around her new friend's shoulders and pulled her close. She was happy that Tara had come she felt it had perhaps done the young woman some good as she turned and looked into her eyes that were still puffy from her tears. '_Time heals all wounds,'_ she repeated to herself. That's what she would tell Derek when he returned.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Penelope asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Tara replied.

_"We never understand the pain of others until we feel it ourselves."_ Tara thought to herself.

So, without hesitation, she smiled back at Penelope and the two women headed out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

"You like this place don't you, Penelope?"

Tara looked around the familiar coffee shop as the two grabbed the last booth near the entrance.

"Yeah I guess I do." Penelope chuckled. "Although if I had any sense, this should be the last place I would want to be."

"What do you mean?"

"I met a guy here…a drop dead gorgeous guy here."

"Really? That doesn't sound so bad."

"You'd think but that said drop dead gorgeous guy shot me!"

"What?"

"I almost died…"

Tara watched as Penelope's mood suddenly changed but only for a short moment then she was back to her bubbly self and focused on her.

"So, Tara, I never got your last name?"

"What?"

"Your last name?"

"Oh, Carlton. Tara Carlton."

Tara fidgeted slightly; she was having second thoughts about the name she'd chosen. Penelope was pretty smart and she wasn't ready for her new "friend" to discover her true identity just yet.

"Tara Carlton from Chicago, okay!"

Penelope removed her coat and folded it over the back of the booth while Tara watched her intently. The younger woman then reached into her purse for her wallet. The least she could do was buy the woman a cup of coffee. After all, she was about to shoot her dead like the drop dead gorgeous man had tried to do.

_"Shoot me once, shame on you! Shoot me twice…your dead!" _Tara thought humorously to herself.

"Oh no you don't, young lady! It's on me."

"No Penelope, you've been too kind already."

"Nonsense, I haven't done anything, really. Please allow me."

Tara smiled and relented as the brilliantly colored giddy blonde stood with her royal blue pleather wallet in hand.

"Well, okay, sure!"

Seemingly overjoyed, Penelope headed to the counter to purchase their coffee. Tara shook her head as the clickety clack of her heels sounded across the black and white tile of the small coffee shop. This was way too easy and she fought hard not to feel something for the woman who had no clue of her real intentions.

Tara removed her leather jacket and placed it in the space between her and Penelope. She couldn't help but wonder how long it would take for her to feel normal again after she completed her tasks in Quantico. Taking the life of Fran Morgan didn't give her the satisfaction she thought it would; yes he was grieving no doubt, who wouldn't be but still there was a need deep within her for more and as Penelope returned carrying two steaming white mugs, she reassured herself, that more she would get.

**Home of Fran Morgan – Chicago – Morning –**

Morgan had managed to pack up the majority of the main room and kitchen last night and this morning he'd started in his mother's room. He felt as if he was intruding as he pulled out drawers and rummaged through her closets. His mother had always been incredibly neat with everything organized in its assigned place and so his job was relatively easy. Sarah and Desiree would be arriving soon and he'd then turn over the rest of the packing to them while he headed to the police station to check on Gordinski's progress on the case. He was still irritated at the older man's insinuation that he was in the way. It was his mother who'd been killed and he loved her more than life and if it meant taking front and center in Gordinski's face twenty-four seven, then that's what he would do until the killer was found.

Derek found a box of pictures that his mother had tucked away neatly under her bed. As he pulled the bed linen from the bed and folded it neatly in a pile on the bed his foot accidently kicked the small box. Curious he knelt down and pulled the box from it's hiding place. Sitting next to the linen on the now bare mattress he thumbed through the pictures. He smiled as he remembered his last visit with his mother and sisters. He job had made it difficult to be home as often as he liked but he had somehow been able to make it home for all of his mother's birthdays.

Then he saw it buried in the midst of the others. He pulled it out and his heart stopped then started with a furious pounding as anger coursed through his veins. He didn't know if he was angry because the smiles of the faces caught him by surprise or because of the fact that this was the way he had found out about his mother's secret life.

The doorbell rang and his eyes jerked away from the picture as he jumped to his feet. His sisters' somber faces met his glare as he opened the door to let them in.

"Why didn't you two use your key?" He said angrily.

"Well excuse us for giving you your privacy!" Sarah began puzzled and offended.

"Yeah, we didn't want to walk in on you in your skivvies! We both know how you like to walk around the house butt ass naked!" Desiree chimed in.

He stepped away from the open door and into the kitchen. They two women followed their brother confused and irritated. He'd always been moody but neither of them was in the mood for it today.

"What is wrong with you, little brother?"

Sarah grabbed a mug from the cabinet as she waited for her brother's response. Des sat at the table watching as her brother without responding handed his older sister the picture in his hand.

"Oh shit…"

"Did you know about this?"

His eyes searched her face as she slowly took the picture from him and examined it. She refused to look at him as she tried desperately to figure a way out of the room before her brother exploded. Then he shifted his glare toward Des who quickly looked away at an imaginary object that had suddenly caught her attention outside the window.

"Des, did you know?"

Neither of the women spoke waiting for the other to find the courage and the words to answer.

"You did know! Both of you! And you didn't bother to tell me?"

"Derek…"

Sarah finally spoke up; she was the oldest after all.

"Somebody better tell me something! I can't believe Ma was with Gordinski! Of all people! After everything that man has done to me; nobody thought enough to tell me? Nobody?"

"Derek we're sorry, we…"

"Sorry? Sorry, huh…"

"Listen, it wasn't our place to tell you, D!" Des began. "It's not like they planned it or anything…it…it just happened."

Morgan fuming paced small circles around the room running his hands across his head and neck. He was beyond livid.

"Nothing just happens, Des! Our mother was dating Stan Gordinksi the man who made my life a living hell for most of my childhood and our mother chooses him?"

"It wasn't like that Derek!" Sarah added.

"This man has done everything he could think of to destroy my life! He tried to pin two murders on me with the help of Carl Buford and now you're going to actually stand there and tell me it wasn't like that?"

He was inconsolable and the two sisters had no words and no excuses to give him. They knew this was going to happen whenever he found out about their mother's relationship with Stan. They'd both pleaded with her to tell him but she kept putting it off wanting to wait until her son came home for a visit. His job kept him away and it had been almost a year since he'd been home. His anger was justified and they knew he had every right to be upset.

"Derek it wasn't about you!"

He stopped in his tracks stunned and silent his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe.

"What?"

"Not everything is about you!" Sarah spoke meeting her brothers' angry glare.

"Ma was happy; happier than I've seen her in years, Derek. He made her happy and in the end that's all that matters."

Derek turned and moved to the window and stared outside perhaps at the same imaginary object that had caught his sister's attention earlier.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have they been… together?"

"About six months." Des answered.

He let his head fall back as he closed his eyes trying to erase the vision of his mother and Stan Gordinski together. Then there was silence between them for several seconds as the two women waited for him to say something, anything. Desiree slowly stood and moved toward him taking a position behind her brother as she placed her small hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under her touch and jerked away turning and brushing past her. The two sisters followed him into the front room and watched as he grabbed his jacket and keys.

"Derek, where are you going?" Sarah asked troubled.

Without turning back he leaned his head against the door as his hand gripped the knob.

"Out!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chicago Police Department – **

The normal morning quiet ended the moment Morgan burst through the door rage in his eyes and headed straight to Gordinski. He didn't get far as four detectives blocked his way while two others held him back. They were expecting him; Sarah had called to warn Stan that her brother had found out about him and her mother.

Morgan struggled against the men and as he slowly pulled them along the floor toward Gordinski, the older man watched wide-eyed as the determined angry man got closer and closer.

"Derek! Don't make me have to arrest you! Please, I know you're upset just let me explain!"

"Why? Why my mother, Gordinski! Did she reject you and so you killed her?"

"Now wait just a minute, Derek! I didn't kill your mother!"

"Then what? When were you going to tell me about you and my mother? Huh, Gordinski, when?"

"Derek, I'm sorry! I knew you'd be upset!"

Derek continued to struggle against the men while the rest of the squad room watched on, confused.

"Let me go!"

"Captain?" The Detective on the left asked.

"I said, let me go!"

Gordinski watched as Morgan's struggle began to slow down; by now he had to be exhausted.

"Let him go."

Morgan stared into Gordinski's face as he stopped fighting.

"You sure, Captain?"

"We're fine, right Derek?"

Morgan didn't respond his glare unwaveringly fixed on Gordinski. He was outnumbered and even in his anger this wasn't a fight he'd win…but in his mind this wasn't over.

"Bring him in here."

The detectives pulled him into the office struggling and holding firmly to his arms.

"Are we okay, Derek?" Gordinski asked again.

Stan knew he wasn't going to get a response but he also knew that he wasn't in any immediate danger while the others were within arms reach. Looking at the others, Stan nodded and the two released their hold on Morgan.

"We'll be fine here." Stan nodded to his men. "Close the door behind you."

Derek, huffing and puffing stood watching in fury as Gordinski walked behind his desk. He didn't want him to find out this way that's why he'd pleaded with Fran to tell her son as soon as they'd begun dating but she didn't know how to tell him something that would send him through the roof.

"Look Derek, I wanted to tell you but your mother wanted to wait until you came home for a visit…"

"You've been after me for years longer than I can remember! You know how close I am to my mother, so what, you thought you'd take her? That would be the last nail in the coffin? What?"

"No. I didn't…we didn't plan this. It was the last thing we ever thought would happen but, Derek…"

"No, no don't tell me any more. I don't want to hear any more."

"I know how you feel about me and I can't blame you! I was horrible toward you and you didn't do anything to deserve what happened to you!"

Morgan began pacing the small office looking for something, anything to smash into a million pieces. Everyone in his family knew about this sick nonsense except him. His mother, his sisters had had a hundred opportunities to tell him but they didn't. Now she was dead and he never had a chance to stop her from getting involved with this man. Why would she do it? It didn't make sense and he felt betrayed.

He needed Penelope here with him; now for the first time in his life he felt utterly alone. He didn't know what to do or to think everything and everyone seemed different now.

"I loved her."

Stan waited for a reaction from Morgan but he just stood there with his back to him and his forehead leaning against the glass window. He wasn't even sure if the younger man heard him.

"I loved her, Derek."

"What?"

Morgan slowly turned to face the man his fury renewed.

"I said I loved her. This isn't about you and there was no plan to hurt or destroy you! I loved your mother."

"No, no I don't want to hear this! Not now, no!"

"She was my life. Hell, I didn't see it coming. From the moment she spoke to me, I was done."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You need to know. We should have told you the moment we got together and for that I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that either but please believe me when I say, this wasn't about you."

Morgan held up his hands to stop him from going any further; he shook his head to clear his mind from all the visuals running through his head.

"The thought of you and my mother makes me sick to my stomach and I don't want to hear about how much you loved her!"

"Derek…"

"No, just stop talking!"

Derek placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door. The detectives who'd been standing outside jumped to attention ready for trouble.

"Derek… I'm sorry…"

"Just…just find my mother's killer and our business is finished!"

Without another word or a look back, Derek slammed the door and headed out of the precinct. Stan stood watching fumbling with the small velvet box in his pocket as the troubled man rushed through the room and out the door.

**Home of Derek Morgan- **

She 'd been holding her breath for what seemed like forever and when she saw his name flash across her phone, she exhaled. Her imagination had been running wild after Sarah's call and she could only imagine what he had done after hearing the news about his mother and Gordinski.

"Hey…" She began. "How are you?"

"I don't know."

"So, Sarah called…"

"Damn! My sister has a big mouth."

"Baby, don't be mad, she's just worried about you."

"Everybody is acting like I'm some out of control little boy who needs to be protected!"

"No, no that's not it…"

"It's exactly, _it_!"

"Derek Morgan, please tell me you didn't do anything that you'll regret."

Derek closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headrest of his car. He didn't answer her question. She waited but all she could hear was his breathing.

"Derek, talk to me."

"No Baby Girl, I didn't do anything."

"Good. Where's your head at right now?"

"I'm pissed! I don't understand why my mother would have anything to do with…Stan Gordinski! I'm pissed because my family didn't think enough of me to tell me! I had to find out while packing my mother's stuff!"

"Oh! Okay, I get it!"

"You get what?"

"You think this is about you! This was all a great big conspiracy against the great Derek Morgan!"

"No! Yes! No! I just don't like secrets! My family should have told me!"

"Baby Boy, they didn't tell you because they knew how you'd react…just like you're reacting now! _And,_ you know how you get when you're pissed!"

"I'm not that bad."

"Uh…yeah you are…but I love you."

Derek smiled she knew just what he needed and when he needed it and he loved her for it. He sounded like a little boy throwing a tantrum but she had a way of reeling him back and gently pulling him away from the edge. So he sat in his car and relaxed a little wanting so desperately not to be in Chicago but back in Virginia with her.

"I'm sorry for acting like an idiot. I love you too."

"Don't be sorry. You have the right to be upset I just don't want you getting in trouble."

"I won't I promise." Then changing the subject. "So, what are you doing today?"

"Hotch has us working on some local consults so that we can be free to come out for the services on Friday. Then I'm meeting Tara for dinner."

"Tara? Who's Tara?"

"She's the young lady I met at the coffee shop. Remember I told you about her?"

"Oh right, I'm sorry my mind has been all over the place."

"No worries totally understandable."

"You two seemed to have hit it off."

"She's had a hard life and I think she could use a friend."

"Well, she couldn't ask for a better friend than you, Baby Girl."

"Ahh…thanks Sugar. Maybe we can have her over for dinner when you get back."

"Sure any thing you want."

**Carlos' Pub and Bistro – D.C. – Evening**

Tara followed the hostess through the crowded restaurant to a booth near the back; Penelope was already seated and halfway through her first strawberry margarita and her smile made her feel guilty and welcomed all at the same time. Tara thanked the hostess and slid into the booth. She was caught off guard as Penelope captured her in a quick embrace hugging her tightly like a long lost relative.

"I hope you like margaritas; it's the house specialty and I took the liberty of ordering you one I hope you don't mind."

"No I don't mind at all, thanks!"

"Good because this has been quite a day and I sooo needed one!"

Tara noticed something behind the smile and the hug; the bubbly woman who seemed to spend most of her time taking care of others was hiding something behind the smile…she could only imagine that it had something to do with Derek Morgan.

"What's going on? You seem a little off kilter tonight."

Penelope welcomed the chance to let go of the load she'd been holding onto all day. She wanted to be strong especially around the team who seemed to lean on her for strength now she needed a shoulder to lean on; Tara was a stranger and she had no expectations of her and so without much prodding she began to talk and talk and talk.

"My boyfriend's mother was killed a few days ago."

"Oh Penelope, I'm so sorry." Tara responded.

She wasn't sorry at all and it took all she had to sound sincere. She hadn't been there to see his face when he'd gotten the news but perhaps hearing about it now would make up for that.

"I don't want to dump this on you. Besides, we don't even know each other that well yet."

"No, please, you've been so kind to me, a complete stranger. I can tell you need to talk and I'm here."

Tara saw the sadness in the woman's eyes as the waitress delivered their margaritas to the table taking Penelope's empty glass away as she left. Tara smiled as Penelope took a long sip from her glass; the alcohol seemed to relax her as she began to share the details of Fran Morgan's death.

_"I wonder how he will feel once you're gone?" _ Tara thought as she listened intently to Penelope's story.


	9. Chapter 9

**St. Mary's Community Church – Friday Morning**

Morgan stood in a far corner of the small prayer chapel looking blankly out of the window. The chapel had been offered as a gathering place for the family while waiting for the services to begin. Morgan had spoken very few words to his sisters since finding out about his mother and Gordinski; if it didn't relate to her services then he remained detached from them. Gordinski had kept in contact with Sarah and Desiree and it had become apparent to Morgan that even his two siblings had grown fond of the older man and if he didn't know better he'd swear the world had gone mad.

Wisely, Gordinski arrived alone and took a seat near the rear of the chapel. He'd had an opportunity to officially say goodbye at the viewing the evening before and it was difficult. His life already felt empty and he couldn't imagine the rest of his days without Fran Morgan. He was also thankful that he had not run into her son there had already been enough drama between the two of them to last a lifetime. He hated funerals and over the years he'd attended far too many for his liking.

A light knock mercifully broke the quietness of the room. Desiree quickly opened the door and smiled in relief to see that it was Derek's family from Virginia. Morgan never reacted to the knock he simply stood motionless staring at nothing in particular outside the paned window. The light touch on his shoulder startled him causing him to jump before turning to face the person he needed to see the most.

"Hey, Handsome."

Without saying a word he gently took her in his arms and held her for what seemed like an eternity. Then one by one the others, Hotch, JJ, Reid and Rossi embraced him warmly.

Tara entered the chapel as the last of the family took their seats. She'd taken care in concealing her face behind large dark glasses and an oversized black hat. She hadn't seen Stan Gordinski since she was a small child and other than a few extra pounds he hadn't change much. She took the seat next to him forcing the already crowded row to shift slightly to make room for her. She knew he wouldn't recognize her she was nothing like the quiet ten year-old girl that he'd sit on his knee when he and her father would meet for lunch.

The service was emotional with lots of friends and family taking turns talking about the woman that seemed almost saintly. Derek was the last to speak and he stood trying so hard to be strong, no tears…but he seemed so lost and fragile that Tara almost felt something inside but she pushed it aside he didn't deserve her compassion besides this was only the beginning of his sorrow…she wasn't going to stop until he lost everyone and everything he loved.

**Home of Fran Morgan – **

Garcia and JJ were busy setting out food and setting out all the necessities for the guests who would be arriving soon to pay their respects to the family. They welcomed the distraction because it was too painful to watch as their friend wandered aimlessly through the house. None of them had denied the fact that he was the strongest of all of them refusing to let emotions weaken his focus from the matters at hand and he had the ability to use his anger as a catalyst that drove him to be even more focused.

One by one mourners dressed in black descended upon the small family home. Derek quietly retreated to the backyard and with beer in hand found a seat on the porch that spanned the entire backside of the house. He couldn't bare shaking another hand, couldn't stand the sound of the standard, _'sorry for your loss'_ that seemed to be like nails being drawn slowly down a blackboard, so he sat drinking and not caring what anyone thought of his self-imposed exile.

"How you holding up, Kid?"

He didn't have to look around he knew who it was. Rossi didn't ask or wait for an invitation he merely sat, a beer in both hands; one he sat next to Derek the other he held for himself taking a long sip as he looked out into the yard at the exact imaginary object that had captured his younger friend's attention.

"Thanks." He said glancing at the fresh beer next to him. "How am I supposed to get through this, Rossi?"

"One day at a time, Kid. One day at a time."

"We've made a lot of enemies doing this job but to kill my mother in her own home? Who could be that determined?"

"That's what were going to find out."

Morgan drained his first beer and without missing a beat picked up the other and took a long gulp.

"Slow down, my friend."

"She was dating, Stan Gordinski…"

"Excuse me?"

"My mother was dating Stan Gordinski…six months, six months. My sisters knew and nobody thought enough to tell me. I had to learn about it when I was packing her things away."

"Ah, so that's why you haven't said two words to Sarah and Dez all day."

"I don't have anything to say, Rossi. Anything I had to say died when a killer put a bullet in my mother's chest!"

He drained the beer and set the empty near his feet next to the other. Rossi waited patiently for the right moment to proceed.

"Was she happy?"

"What?"

"Your mother was she happy with Gordinski?"

"I don't know I'm still trying to understand why she would even give him the time of day. Just the thought of them together makes me gag."

"Derek, you knew your mother better than anyone."

"I thought I did but now I don't think I knew her at all."

"She knew how you would react if you knew about her and Stan. Considering your history, she must of fell for him pretty hard. She saw something in him that made it okay to forgive him."

"Rossi, please, I don't want to talk about this."

"I know you don't, Derek but you have to trust that what they had was pure and real and had nothing to do with you."

"Yeah, I keep hearing that so it must be true, right?"

Rossi smiled and nodded his head as he drained what was left of his beer.

Tara made her way to the airport she had a late afternoon flight back to Virginia. She still had a lot of work to do before Derek and his friends returned home and she didn't want to waste any time in preparing for his homecoming.

It was too bad that the woman who'd so easily befriended her had to die she hadn't expected to like her so much. It wasn't fair really that he found a woman like her to love him. She wondered what had made him so special; special enough that her father chose him to spend special time with at their family cabin and invest long hours teaching him football while she sat at home wanting desperately to be included. She wondered what her father would think now of the little boy who had betrayed him with his lies and ungratefulness. No matter now, she'd prove to her father that she was the only one who really loved and believed in him.

Tara had grown fond of Penelope Garcia and under other circumstances they'd make great friends. She'd broken the first rule of revenge; she'd gotten personally involved with her target and now she was second-guessing herself and what had to be done. She'd come too far to get soft now and as she boarded the plane she resolved that by this time tomorrow, Penelope Garcia would be dead.


End file.
